Today, I feel confident. I feel sure of who I am and what I want and who I want to be. I know it won't last, but right now I'm almost high on it. I can't get to sleep. I want to go for a run. I want to lose those fifty pounds right now, start hormones, grow chest hair. I want to drive trucks. Some might say I'm manic at the moment, and maybe I am, but I don't think so. I think I'm just having a moment of clarity.
I went to a trans support group tonight and all the stories people told there were tragic or awful, but for some reason I left there only more sure. Maybe it's because of what someone said: Why on Earth would we choose this? There's no reason to choose such a difficult path. If we could, we'd all just want to be comfortable with who we are and the bodies we're in but we're not.
I need to break loose. I need financial freedom. I don't have it yet, but someday I will, and when I do, it will finally be my life to live, not the life my parents dictate for me.
